Did you know that cookies and cakes are always on sale at the grocery store? I always purchase the two cakes for .88 cents, or three cookie combinations for $1.00. I keep these on hand not because I have a sweet tooth, and sweets are like one step above condiments for Kel. But because whenever my church calls me its for one of two reasons to bring cake to an event, or to watch someone's kids. ( And let me clarify that I do not mind either of these tasks, and actually enjoy serving in any way I can, if they asked me to clean the toilets I would.) While my husband gets calls to speak in front of the large congregation, or lead small groups.
The attitude of women in church leadership in the township I reside is tragic. Unless you are singing, with your husband supporting church fundraiser, or sharing your testimony the large congregation is off limits to my fellow XX'ers.
Imagine if you will for a moment 3 Christians sitting in a room in prayer (two women and one man). God gives each person a different sentiment or revelation. Only the gentlemen of the groups message gets expressed on a large scale. That means at least twice as many opportunities for God to express His character are prevented from reaching the people present any given Sunday.
After spending some time with a friend and sister in Christ she openly admitted that she really only went to Bible college to find a husband and get married. Oh forgive me I'm shrinking away from the keyboard, my body wants to wretch, crawl into the fetal position, stare blankly, rock back and forward, as I repeat "no..no.. It can't be real." Did all of you just hear the thunk of Debra rolling over in her grave? Or was that just me falling off the chair.
These women are not mythical. They exist and they could be sitting next to you at any time or any place. Until know they were on the same scale as unicorns and leprechaun. Can you imagine spending close to 6,000 or 7,000 dollars a year on a dating service. Oh please if any of you are contemplating this step I will gladly play match maker for you for free, and have at least two very satisfied couples under my belt. Goodness the true presence of these individuals will make it only more difficult to break down gender barrirers in the church.
In our church we have a straw man or should I say straw woman. When asking a pastor about female leadership they are given the word deaconess. The duties of the deaconess are vague. But I've come to define it as: gifts server, tither gatherer, backer, Sunday school teacher, greeter, cheerleader, singer, and small group leader for females. Deaconess is a very affective distraction that gets women involved and diverts their attention long enough for them to get too full of a plate to have energy to move against the nitch carved for us.
So obviously I'm passionate about this topic, so why am I at my church?
Because this is not a salvation issue. My church is the best church in the area for community, spiritual growth, and the heart to reach others for the gospel. And people getting saved and worshiping Christ is more important than everything.
However as the parent of a little girl unless things move in a more progressive direction. I will not raise her in a church that stifles any aspiration God may give her.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
Sounds like you need to take charge. Force them to recognize you for the jobs you want. What you described, sounds backwards.
Argh! I knew it, I knew it! I should have gone to Bible college! Thanks a lot, scientific naturalism! Thanks for NOTHING! If it weren't for you, I'd have had a date to the prom! Argggg!!!
I agree with duck hunter, say what it is you want to do and are being told no. If you are worshiping each Sunday with such coldness in your heart, what good does that do?
I'm guessing that this church you belong to is trying to find people, to go up front of the “large congregation” and lead groups, who are willing and ready to do so. I am also guessing that when some "men" are asked to lead a group that their wife is equally part of that equation. I am purely guessing that this church has 2 open groups (where men and women both belong) that are lead by women (one single woman and the other married….and yes her husband does attend her group). I'm guessing that is why 4 weeks ago a woman was asked to read scripture in front of this "large congregation”, (just the same as a guy I know by the name of Kel.) I speculate that there have been at least 3 women share this stage to share not only scripture, but testimony’s as well in the last three to four months. I would just pull this out of the air…grasping at “straws”, if you will…that there was a conference not long ago, where the main speaker was a woman at this church you attend. I’m also guessing that if you asked one of the men who shares the stage on Sunday mornings…he would say that this is a place for people who are humble and willing to serve wherever, but God has seemed to place them there for reasons that don’t necessarily make sense – to some at least. And finally, I’m guessing that if you continue to watch this church…you may be surprised with the gender of one of the next staff members that might soon be hired.…………………………………………….purely and entirely hypothetically speaking on all accounts of course.
duck hunter ~ Wish you lived in Kenosha. A few more overt men on the issue couldn't hurt.
Jende ~ Thank you so much for making me laugh on this.
Anonymous ~ my heart for worship is fine thanks.
pt. ~ Didn't know you were into the blog scene. Thanks for posting.
You know this conversation would be better served face to face, and fortunetly for us we have such chances.
You know the simple request I've already stated for female teaching on offering and gifts Sunday morning.
I also acknowledged the ability for testimonial share on Sundays in my very bolg.
The potential hireie you know is not a teaching pastor. Unless there is some other scouted position that I am unaware of.
And lastly although I have all this in writing. There are others who will blatently use your name to support strong sentiments to the opposition of what you express here. So forgive me if I feel there is either some miscommunication going on, or people only hear what they want to from you.
Michelle,
It seems to me like you are to eager to seperate or divide, at least that is the impression I get from your writing. Please take these comments as contructive. I think you are to eager to condemn something that takes time. As someone who is familiar with the difficulty of getting a job without a degree in that area I recognize that there aren't alot of females out there. There really aren't enough females being trained to approach these things in order to hire them. The very fact that the church is willing to hire someone for something that doesn't have to do with secretarial duties(sorry tracy I mean no offense) implies a change albeit a slow one. Remember just because the Civil rights act was signed in 1964 doesn't mean peoples opinions of other races changed overnight. It was a gradual
thing. Try to change things with patience and understanding as opposed to negative statements.
In Love,
Nick Smith
Dear Nick (aka Nick the intern),
I recognize that you are fairly new to our church still, so I will give you some grace in your assumptions that I have not tried to approach this in a more civilized manner.
Again lucky for us we can talk about this face to face sometime, which would clear things up.
I appreciate your loving tone and perspective, however many of the guys who have talked about the tithe and communion have no bible college training, and are still given affordances that female leaders have not.
This may be a baby step process, but until that time I need my space to vent. And my blog should be that. Nick I don't mean to offend you here, but its a little insulting your desire for my patience given your gender.
:) Besides, shouldn't you be ecstatic given that you are in bible college and their are girls out there just looking to land a solid Christian man. I really thought this was something that semenarians made up to gain the courage to ask bible college women out. :) Dating urban legend.
I guess I don't really get it. Especially PT's snide comments.
Yes, there's a lot about the Church, Christianity, and especially Christians themselves, that I wish I could change. But there are so many other issues worth our attention.
As the parent of two daughters myself, I am acutely aware of gender discrimation and injustice in all its insidious forms--especially the objectification of women's bodies in our hyper-sexed culture.
However I don't think I would throw my pastor and church under the bus like you did. If you feel that strongly, you guys should leave. There are many demoninations with women in Senior Pastor and leadership roles. Try one out. Maybe there's a better fit? In the meantime, is God not a large enough audience to handle this issue? Be active in a church that accepts your contribution, and pray for those that don't. Anyone care to love their enemies??
Last Blog and Testament…This is more than likely my last blogget, I had never blogged before and most likely will never blog again. I was only playing around on the computer the other day and wrote comments that were meant to cause laughter not stir up unrest. I guess my writing skills need some work…I apologize. As a member of the church in question I was only trying to point out that women do play a critical role in the maturity of our church, that is why I pointed out all the areas in which they serve, and I tried to do it with a bit of humoristic sarcasm...honestly not trying to offend, once again I apologize (Michelle, you know my heart).
On a more serious note, Duck Hunt, I just ask you to think carefully about what we want to “force” in the church. Since it is God who we are to serve and God says we need to be humble in all that we do…forcing an issue that is not salvation related, has the potential to go from serving God with the abilities He has given us to pushing a personal agenda. I say only because this may become a fine line that we walk…myself included. I want to resonate with the Apostle Paul when he speaks of unity in the church i.e. I Timothy 3
Love you all
Goodnight and Goodbye wherever you are.
Michelle, as a female who also feels like the role of women in the church isn't quite yet where it should be, and as a Bible College graduate, I put my personal story through this uphill journey to having our voices be heard on my blog if you or anyone else is interested.
I want to first and foremost shout a holla out to my man EJ! Sup dog. Miss you like crazy.
But I'm gonna have to agree with Chris on this one. and say that I like my church just fine. sure not everything is perfect, but no one is, right? The main thing that I like about our church is how people know how to love others, and we are trying to even love our enemies. To mish's point, i believe that if women are called to be pastors, teachers, or elders of a church then the church should allow that to happen. If not at one church then at another one. For if God truly wants a person to become something/somebody/some position if you will in a church then God will bless them and God will make it happen.
I just want to state for the record that I love my wife - and I love my daughter and I encourage them to follow God wherever he takes them and I will continue to do so. and Mish does the same for me.
So PT, please don't go.
Post a Comment